


Onesided

by NearlyThornless



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Actor Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Angst, Fanboy Eren Yeager, M/M, Slow Build, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:42:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NearlyThornless/pseuds/NearlyThornless
Summary: Every now and then, Eren doubts his sanity. Because at the age of 17, he begins to hear thoughts that definitely aren't his own. Mostly, those are just random insults, but it does make Eren curious in a way. Perhaps, this isn't just his mind and they actually do belong to a real person after all?





	Onesided

The grey pencil in Eren's hand already resembles a tree after a beaver attack as he still chews on it thoughtlessly. Loudly, the seconds are ticking by and as the time passes, he becomes more and more frustrated with the situation he is in. Math is his least favorite thing in the world, and apparently math feels the same way about him, because no matter how long he angrily stares at the paper in front of him, no matter how many times he reads the question, none of it seems to make sense to him.

'Concentrate, Eren. Think. You can do this,' he mentally cheers himself on, but that doesn't help much either. He's never been particularly good at school unless he has a personal interest in the subject, and math isn't one of the things he's ever been interested in. So instead, he looks out of the window, stares at the concentrated faces everyone else is making, at their hands that are busy writing, and then at the clock again. 

Three minutes left. 

Three fucking minutes and he doesn't have one answer written down yet. 

'Come on, I need to get at least one question right. Just one,' he mentally screams at himself, but all it does is make the problem seem even more problematic. All the while, his eyes keep moving towards the clock over and over again, mocking him with the knowledge that his teacher is going to 'want to talk to him about his work attitude' tomorrow again. 

All he honestly wants to do is slam his head against the desk, but that would draw a bit too much attention in the quiet atmosphere and therefore even that is out of question sadly. 

That's why a sigh leaves his lips, and his body loses its tension as he gives up on trying entirely. That battle is definitely lost, he thinks and stares blankly at the words on the grayish white paper, mentally counting the seconds left until he has to hand this in. 

"What the hell is wrong with you, how can you be too stupid to answer this? The answer is fucking 857.3, just fucking write that down." 

Upon hearing those words coming from somewhere, Eren almost falls off his chair. He quickly looks around, trying to figure out where that came from, but there's no one in sight standing close to him, and the people behind him look at him weirdly as green, paranoid eyes are still searching the room. 

That's when the bell rings, and before Eren has the time to think this hole thing through properly, he hurriedly writes 857.3 down in messy numbers, just a second before the teacher is at his desk to collect the test. 

Everyone is already getting up, heading off to lunch, but not Eren. He's still sitting there, scratching his head with a frown on his face because he cannot seem to understand what just happened. 

He heard a voice there, and he's sure of that. Although now that he thinks back, it wasn't really a voice perhaps. An inner voice, a sudden feeling that just let him know that he needed to listen to whatever that message was even. 

That doesn't make it any less confusing to him, not in the slightest. 

Apparently it's easy to see that he's feeling somewhat mentally unstable right now, because there are two shadows beside him quickly, and then Mikasa is asking her usual questions, pestering him to know whether everything's okay. 

Today, he isn't entirely sure everything is okay. In fact, he's a bit afraid that he might be going crazy because voice or not, there was definitely something there in his mind that he hasn't ever felt or heard or experienced before, and it's scary enough for him not to immediately tell Mikasa to stop mothering him like he usually does.

Which only makes her more persistent. 

"Eren you've got that weird kind of look in your eyes, don't lie. What's wrong?" 

Armin joins right in, asking, "It was probably just the test, you didn't study again, or did you?" 

"Eren! If you keep failing all those tests then you'll end up repeating the year and we won't be in the same class anymore! That cannot happen," Mikasa exclaims dramatically upon hearing Armin's suspicion. 

And perhaps it's precisely because they are being a bit overprotective again that Eren decides he doesn't want to talk about this right now. He still needs time to even figure out what happened anyways, so he shakes his head and then rubs his eyes. 

"Today is just a weird day, I thought that test was scheduled for tomorrow, but apparently that was wrong," he lies, avoiding eye contact by faking a yawn. Both Mikasa and Armin are really quick to notice when he's lying, and although that's not a bad thing in itself, it can sometimes be hard to have any privacy with somewhat of a second mother and a genius around all the time. 

"Eren, you're hopeless. From now on, I'll just give you a call each day before there's a test so you at least have somewhat of an idea of what the current topic is. You need to learn how to prepare for tests properly." 

Armin nods when Mikasa says that, and before they get anymore great ideas for how to help him out, the brunette's stomach makes a pitiful sound and the three of them agree to go and eat something, although not even the idea of food completely manages to make Eren snap out of it. 

He cannot help but feel as though those words weren't just his own thought, but something else instead, something more. Something important, despite the harsh wording and straightforward message. 

..

The next time it happens, Eren is sitting on his bed wearing only his underwear and stuffing his face with popcorn before he has even decided which movie he is going to watch, his current favorites all laid down on the bed in front of him, but he has trouble deciding on one in particular. One thing all those movies have in common. An actor, a certain Levi Ackermann; and it would probably be an understatement to say that he's Eren's favorite actor. It's a bit embarrassing to admit that he watches the man's movies religiously, not even necessarily for the plot. Instead, Eren finds his eyes glued to the face of Levi, to his silver blue eyes and his dark hair. Sometimes he stops the movie only to look at him for a few moments in particularly nice angles or light.

He's not alone with his admiration though. No, him and about a few hundred thousand girls have a soft spot for the actor with the annoyed face. 

But that's not even how Eren came to be obsessed with the actor in the first place. Just a few years ago when a particularly bad earthquake destroyed most of the town he lived in, it had been a catastrophe for many families, and Eren's was among them. 

Lots of people lost their houses, jobs and their everyday life on that day, and the months following it were hell, trying to save what was left of the town, seeing all the destruction.

Eren's father almost lost his job back then, because there wasn't nearly enough money in the community to rebuild all buildings that were destroyed, and they were seriously considering shutting the hospital in Shinganshina down. That would have meant both a one hour drive to the next hospital and the loss of Grisha Jaeger's job, but a certain actor just happened to donate lots of money to help the villages with the most damage out back then, and that was what kept the hospital standing there. 

If that hadn't happened, then Eren isn't so sure where he would be now or what would have happened to their little family. They would have probably moved somewhere into a bigger town than this, and would have built a new life there; without his friends, and far away from what was home to him.

He was simply thankful at first for the donations, and that's when his interest was piqued, and when, mostly out of a lack of anything else to do, he started reading about the man, just online articles and such. 

Levi is now 29, was born into one of the richest families of Trost, and his talent has been discovered early on, thanks to his rich uncle who introduced him to the right people. He speaks three languages, does all his stunts in the movies himself, and is oftentimes seen carrying around a plastic cup full of black tea when photographers manage to capture him in his free time.

Eren wouldn't exactly say for sure that he's gay, but he does recognise that maybe his admiration for the other has a bit to do with looks, too. 

He'd probably die if he ever saw him in real life, and even now his attention is on the man alone as he regards each of the movies with a critical eye, analysing the covers. He's watched each one of those movies at least five times, probably way more often. Except one. The one that he stole from his mother's collection of movies in the living room.

For whatever reason, today he doesn't exactly feel like horror or action, and his eyes get stuck on that one romance movie that he hasn't really dared to watch up until now. 

Because watching action movies that include the man is pretty much a normal thing to do, not that weird. Watching a romance though, as a guy, somehow makes him feel like that would be crossing a certain line. 

Because Eren likes to think that it's only admiration, and not some sort of twisted crush on a famous person that he'll never even meet in this lifetime. He's not as deep in as all those girls are, definitely not. That's what he tells himself before he stuffs more popcorn into his mouth, and starts licking the sugar off his palm thoughtlessly. 

"That's fucking disgusting! You haven't even washed your hands once today, how can you do that?" 

That's when he pushes his hand away from his mouth as though it's been burned, and knocks his popcorn over as he quickly turns around to search the room for the owner of the voice. 

But there's no one in his room, no one but himself. 

And it was the exact same feeling he got when he was sitting in class a few weeks ago, the same sudden weird feeling in his chest and the same anxiety following the insulting words. 

He briefly considers the option of having some sort of split personality, but he doesn't really think that this is it. It doesn't feel like it at least, but isn't that what someone with multiple personalities might say? 

He's not sure about that, and it's only now that he registers that half the bag of popcorn is scattered not so nicely nicely all over his bed. 

With a sigh the boy starts collecting the food in his hands and placing it on a nearby plate, using his hands to clean the bed sheets as efficiently as possible. 

After staring at the movies for another few minutes with his mind elsewhere and confusion filling his stomach, Eren finally picks out the one with a beach in the background, and Ackermann holding some girl's hand. 

Just once, he tells himself, he'll watch that certain movie. Just for the plot of course, or maybe not.


End file.
